Star Wars Half Marathon: The Light Side

So, it’s a few days after the Star Wars Half Marathon – the Light Side at Disneyland and I’m sitting here in my office during my lunch break sore. But, my spirits are high regarding the running aspect of my life. We’re back to training our student staff at work and I’m honestly so tired. My body feels like it has taken a beating and I’m using this week to heal and rest, but I think I also want to get out and run. Luckily, my job requires me to walk around a lot, so at least I have that!

But, I will say that this past weekend’s Star Wars Half was really great. I didn’t train much. I went to the gym twice and ran 3.1 miles each time. I want once outside for 3 miles. A lot of walking was added to the total miles and then it was race day before I knew it! But, with the Run The Year 2017 Challenge, in which I am trying to move 2,017 miles this year, has made things easier, as I’m super conscious if I’m running or at least walking a lot each day.

The race was mostly flat. Thankfully, since it’s January, the race started in the night. Even with a later corral start time, I was able to run through most of Disney’s California Adventure in the darkness, which was so great. I loved the lights and Paradise Pier is my favorite at night. The sounds and music of Star Wars past and present were playing on the loud speakers and Star Wars symbols and characters were all about, including on the California Screamin Loop background!

Like the Avengers Half, I did not stop for any photo opportunities. I enjoyed them while passing by and I engage in spectator high fives and stuff, but I don’t stop. I try to take these races seriously like any other race and try to improve my own personal time. I’m glad to say that I improved on my time for this race from my previous Run SF race time of 2:50 and my Avengers time of 2:53. I got 2:46 for this race! I’m on my way to improving to where I used to be, which was around 2:30.

I liked this course because it was mostly flat. I didn’t like the long straightaways though, but the large streets made for good crowds to cheer all the runners on and for driver’s to wave and beep at everyone running. Good motivation tool! Like the last time, I loved the RunDisney race! I think that Disney does a great job of managing the course, having well timed bathrooms (that I never use), well places water stops, and the ability to get energy gels when you most need it (and I’m sure they’d let you take more than one). The race finish was also great, although I’m sad they only gave me one banana instead of two like last time, except I should have asked (that’s okay, I was good). I thoroughly enjoyed the photos that they took of me! Made me look like a real runner!

So, where do we go from here? Well, I’ve signed up for the Star Wars Half Marathon – The Dark Side Challenge at Walt Disney World in April (includes a 10k and Half Marathon). I also have the LA Run to Remember Half Marathon in February, the LA Marathon in March, the Livermore Half Marathon in March, and the Disneyland Double Dare Challenge (10k and Half Marathon) in September. Lots of races. That’s 1 marathon, 5 half marathons, and 2 10ks, for a total of 8 races! That’s a lot, but I anticipate a few more. This is the year. 2017 is the year of running. Running for health. Running for fun. And, running for my life!

Starting Over For 2017

I have not written since December of 2015, and so I think it’s pretty telling to say out loud that 2016 was a year of both excitement and new adventures, as much as it was sadness, loss, grief, exhaustion, and other horrible things. I moved across the country to take a new job in San Jose and returned to my home state, I found love and then ended the same relationship, ran many more half marathons than I ever thought I would and could, and spent a year making memories at Disneyland with friends and my sister. Donald Trump was elected President of the United Stated, many innocent lives were taken at the Pulse Nightclub Massacre, a woman was the nominee for President and won the popular vote, I discovered the beauty of nature, I fell in love with the city of Portland, OR, so many lives were taken because of the color of their skin or their race. So much hate mixed in the good things that happened. But, rather than just recapping what happened, I want to share a couple of doable, yet challenging, resolutions I have for myself for this new year!

1. Challenge myself to become fit. I have signed up for a couple of half marathons in 2017. The first one coming up in two weeks is the Star Wars Light Side Half Marathon at Disneyland. I’m excited, but nervous as I haven’t run due to being busy or it being cold (and I’ve been lazy). I need to step it up! The next is last of 3 in my Golden State Series challenge, the Livermore Half Marathon in March. I can’t wait to get my unique wine related medal and get my beautiful Golden State Series medal! I also signed up for the Disneyland Half Marathon in September! The last is a virtual marathon, which is the Run the Year 2017 challenge, in which I will try to run/walk/jog/hike/move with my feet 2,017 miles over the course of 2017! I can’t promise to run everyday, but I will try to keep up my walking everyday to at least get me into a doable range of miles on average. I hope to eat better and just exercise more!
2. Get back into taking pictures! I don’t mean on my iPhone, which I already do, but I own a nice DSLR camera that I often don’t use and just hide away. I need to get out and use it more!
3. Read more books. I got a new Kindle towards the end of the year and I need to read more! Harry Potter is already on deck and I decided to buy less paper books and do my E-Book reading (and to read the paper books I do own already). This means I need to make time for it.
4. Be more mindful and love myself more. Mindfulness can mean sitting to meditate, slowing down, thinking about one thing and focusing or thinking about nothing. I just need to press pause once in awhile and do that more. I find myself sitting in worry-mode for no reason for things I can’t change. Practicing mindfulness could be something that could help me for a long time from now. The other part about loving myself more is that often times, because I care for others too much, as I did in my relationship, was that I loved the other person more than I cared about how I was doing. If I ever catch myself doing that, I need to stop and end things or stop doing that immediately. I need to see myself as first and then I can begin to even care for others.
5. Downsizing and getting rid of things I don’t need anymore. This doesn’t mean purge everything, it means getting less in places I don’t need things, getting rid of old, outdated, and useless things I have. Cleaning is good for the soul and I already know I have tons of clothes to go through that I haven’t unpacked since I moved here in April 2016. This getting rid of stuff allows me to get new things or to think about what I actually need. Things sometimes need replacing. Speaking of which, I want to have more of a continuous style than random clothing items, so maybe getting rid of some old clothing might be useful for that piece.

So there you have it, my doable yet challenging resolutions. Everything I listed is doable, but will take effort to start and continue through the year! I see this as a start over. Some of these goals I had last year, but also, some of these things I started and then stopped doing. I need to just restart.

Joy Jar 2014 & 2015

It’s been a long time since I’ve written in my blog. I decided raid my closet and open up a box of stuff. In there, I found my Joy Jar that has been left untouched for awhile now. It includes a lot of things from 2014 and some things from 2015. The end of 2014 was rough, so it’s why I think I forgot to open the jar up. It sat on my shelf into 2015 and then things continued to not be so good, but I can reassure anyone who reads this that things have gotten a lot better. It’s so interesting though. I opened up each post it note stuffed into the mason jar and read so many good memories, not necessarily attached to people who are in my life still. Good riddance to the people that have exited my life for whatever reason. All I know is I’m much better without these people, but it doesn’t discount the fact that those memories were captured in what was a good time. Good memories still exist, so that is what matters now. So here’s a list of the memories with no specific order:

1. Yaa Acheampong. Allison Potter.
2. Panera
3. Seeing friends & family, after almost 2 years, in LA
4. Panera & Max Brenner fondue. Food babes with Luis.
5. Commencement at Northeastern University and earning my Masters
6. Finding out Luis is a step closer to staying in the U.S.
7. Birthday dinner with Yaa, Mercedes, and JJ at Texas Roadhouse
8. Impulsive HDTV & Blu-Ray player purchase
9. Purchasing a 3 day pass to Boston Calling
10. Earning the Founder’s Award & Emerging Professional Award from the CSCD Banquet
11. (I guess this was important because here it is again!) Awarded the Emerging New Professional Award & Funders Award for the CSDC & CSDA Awards!
12. 21st Amendment & Divergent w/ Luis
13. Seeing my first Social Justice workshop come to life at Brandeis
14. Drinks w/ GSG friends – “Let’s go drinking.”
15. LGBT Film Festival with Luis
16. Running 3 diversity sessions for Tufts students
17. Meeting Luis Sandoval
18. Luis bringing me birthday cake M&Ms!
19. Bad dinner with Luis but really good desert at Finale + Lego movie
20. Seeing Jane get married!
21. TPE14 and NASPA14 in Baltimore
22. Dinner catch up w/ Luis! (after Baltimore)
23. Successful NASPA #SASocial
24. Dinner with Luis @ Union
25. Alec arriving in Boston after JetBlue craziness & Tasty Burgers
26. LeaderShape Boston Session 2014
27. Karaoke for Yaa’s Birthday!
28. Listening to the Nor’easters kill it!
29. RD Retreat at Jay Peak
30. Reading the book the Heart of the Volunteer
31. Bearing my soul & having a real moment with Luis
32. Doctor Who
33. Six Flags Great Escape for RA Training plus the Sky Coaster with Sean and Kyrena
34. “Horse…whores…” & “Sheet…shit…”
35. Feeling love by friends at my grad dinner @ Maggiano’s
36. Luis’s “Karma” moments to me at Eastern Standard
37. Getting a job offer at UVM
38. Realizing Luis listens to everything I say…because he got me the perfect grad gift! (Stronger book and bow ties!)
39. Driving to CT with Luis to see Imagine Dragons and then driving back to Boston for Victoria’s Diner!
40. Campero Chicken
41. The realization that not everyone is fit to be considered my friend!
42. My first opera show, Florencia en el Amazonas, with Luis plus Tasty Burger
43. Disneyland & Disney California Adventure
44. Spending all day with Luis in Harvard Square & browsing books and seeing Spring Awakening then Cheesecake Factory
45. Earning my Masters in College Student Development & Counseling + my grad dinner
46. Wrestle/Cuddle naps + Game of Thrones w/ Luis
47. Finally telling Luis that I like him ❤ (that backfired, oops, #sorrynotsorry)
48. Fun TPE14 Roommates
49. All day with Luis & Mount Auburn “photoshoot”
50. Visiting Luis & seeing his NEW apartment
51. Luis saying he misses me!
52. Switchfoot Fading West concert with Yaa & Luis
53. Assembly Row AMC movie theater opening with Luis
54. Boston Calling w/ Luis

Things I didn’t write down (for 2014 and 2015)

1. Disneyland and Disney’s California Adventure (2 times)
2. Meeting Bert
3. Ocean Kayaking in La Jolla
4. Brett & Chester (cat, who I then adopted)
5. Skydiving
6. Skydiving w/ Kyrena
7. Amaluna
8. Sam Smith concert with Erin Baker
9. Disneyworld (all 4 parks)
10. University Studios Orlando & Islands of Adventure
11. Running my second half marathon

That’s all folks! I know I had some really awesome moments but that’s what I can remember now and that’s what was written! Here’s to 2016 to more memories and new adventures!

One Year Later (in Vermont)

I can’t believe how fast a year goes by. I’m officially one year and a month into living in Vermont. Right off, I will say it’s been an emotional journey and sometimes I love it here, and other times I find myself wondering how the hell I got myself here. But, I think everyday has been a true blessing (sometimes, those blessings are disguised behind costumes and masks).

When I left California 5 years ago (wow, typing that I saying out loud is mind blowing to me), I thought I would be back in a year. That definitely has not happened. Boston became home to me and I decided to take full advantage of East Coast living by living in different parts of city and even decided to enroll in graduate school. All of these choices were very unplanned, but with everyday that passed, I was more and more convinced that where I was at the time was exactly where I needed to be.

That moment happened when I got the call, from my soon to be supervisor, that I received a job in Vermont. I was so ecstatic that I even decided to stop my job search process/interview trips and accepted the job quicker than I even imagined. I spent the next couple of months trying to enjoy the company of my closest friends (I even spent so much time with one friend I thought was leading to be my first “partner” or “boyfriend” or “significant other” or whatever you want to call it). When I made the big move, things definitely shifted and changed like no other and I was quickly finding out that my new home would take more and more of my time (not a bad thing at all).

I still remember, July 1st, 2015, I moved out of the MIT Phi Delta Theta house and carried all my stuff and packed up my moving truck with three of my friends. Just a few nights before, I cried so hard because it was the first time I was leaving people behind that I felt I didn’t want to leave. But, after a couple of weeks and months, everything started to get better. I created new friendships/relationships (and, unfortunately, I lost some friends and lost a parent). You can’t plan for what will happen, but you can grow, change, and adapt and become more resilient.

Most recently, I have been stating how much I miss California. I made a recent vacation visit and spent some time at my favorite places (not really to even visit people). I think what I’m learning is that people come and go, but it’s physical places and experiences that make me miss places. I will say it now, there’s not many people left in Boston that I truly care for (however, some of my best friends still live in Boston). What I miss about Boston is the beauty of the city, the convenience of the MBTA and the access to shopping, food, and historical sights. It’s so easy to find a small or large concert and there are endless opportunities for free movie screenings.

When it comes to California, I miss the mild weather, the sunny skies, and the laid back culture (for the most part). I miss the diversity of food and everyday diversity of people. I miss being able to go to the ocean/beach, get lost in the city, and access to the mountains (let’s be honest though, I never took advantage of those things while living there).

Now, I’m in Vermont. I love my job and the people are great. I have created some strong relationships I wouldn’t trade for the world. However, it’s tough being here at times. The work is hard. I think about things I never have thought about at all waking hours of the day. Winters can be harsh. I have to drive hours upon hours to get to a major city/urban area. There’s not that much to do in Burlington, VT and we are considered a big city in Vermont. It’s not very diverse. The dating sceen is non-existent. It’s hard, but it’s fulfilling at the same time.

The other day, we were at a training retreat learning about Restorative Practices. At this point, it was my 3rd time reviewing the concepts in a formalized way. I feel like I have grown so much in this year and truly have become a better person, even if I feel like I take 3 steps forward and 10 steps back (at times). I truly feel I work at the best place. I feel this way because I interviewed for a job towards the end of the school year (and wasn’t offered the job, but it was close because I interviewed on campus), and I had many jobs lined up to apply for, but I chose not to, and I think about how it would help or hurt me to leave where I am now. I also think about that I could have ended up at a lot of different places for my first job, but UVM got me! For now, I feel very content and happy with staying at the University of Vermont, but it scares me everyday where I’ll be next (in a year, two years, three, etc). That is a reality!

So, here’s to my first year down living in Vermont and here’s to a successful second year!

Look for Depth: Reconnecting to Passions

I haven’t blogged in a while, and so I decided that I need to get back into it. There’s a reason for it! Here’s the little story and what I hope will be more blog posts to come. The academic year has finally ended and things are changing. I recently purchased my first car (hooray!). It’s a 2015 Subaru Impreza 5-door if you’re wondering (I named it Jake, as it represents my “alter ego”…I often present as a by the books, organized, and focused person, but I often have my ridiculous, hot mess, and spontaneous side).

The other change is that I have a cat. His name is Chester and he’s an orange tabby. I adopted him from my friend Brett, who has been fostering him for a while. I figured it would put me into more a routine and to actually get up to take care of another living thing that actually depends on me.

Soon, I will be packing up my current apartment and moving across campus to a new complex and I will be supervising a new grad student. Things are definitely changing fast!

Well, today was a great day. My office manager got to meet my cat and basically spent the entire day with him in her office. He totally loved it. Then, I had lunch with my supervisor for next year. Good food and conversations. We watched Pitch Perfect 2, which then sparked me to drive to the bookstore to get a good book to read. I stumbled upon some good finds and put some down because I knew I could get them cheaper online. However, I needed to come home to blog about my inspiration for blogging and getting back to the things I want to do, but always put aside.

I stumbled upon a book by Patrick Lindsay called Make the Most of You. It features “170 ways to be the best you can be” and the first thing says the following:

Look for Depth

Our world pushes us towards shallowness. All width and no depth. Driven by the fear of missing out, we’re constantly plugged in to our devices at the expense of real relationships and passions. Make the technology work for you; find your passions and explore them.

Passion is universal humanity. Without it religion, history, romance and art would be useless. -Honore De Balzac (1799-1850)

So, today was a day that I forgot my phone in the car during lunch and it was great to have lunch and a conversation that was meaningful without the need to check my phone. I knew I would get back to it in about 2 hours. I think there are so many excuses I have made up (we all have made up) that take us away from doing something, experiencing what is in front of us, and truly doing what brings us joy (passion).

So, while I was at the bookstore tonight, I decided to pick up a book to read for pleasure and I’m going to start it tonight and promise myself to read everyday until I finish it (and move onto another book, so on, and so forth). I enjoy reading, but I never make time for it. However, I make time for a lot of things that require my phone and my computer. So, I’ll crack open that book and enjoy a story once in a while.

The Make the Most of You book has a summary in the back that says that it will ask some deep questions. They are:

• Who are you?
• Where are you headed?
• What could you yet be?
• What holds you back?

Big and deep questions, indeed! I think that every day (or every couple of days), I’ll read a few of these and blog about them. It’s a good place to pause life and reflect on what actually is happening. As I enter my 2nd year of my career, I need to really think and reflect on those deep questions. I’m definitely excited to do that and start to be the best I can be for myself and for others.

If you’re curious, I bought an exclusive collector’s edition of John Green’s Looking for Alaska. I’ve been wanting to start reading his books, so I think this will be a good starting point. I hear this book is excellent and inspiring! Excited to get started!

Because Brett Asked Me To Blog

Here’s a blog post I promised Brett Fink (soon to be Boston College grad) that I would write.

——

I haven’t blogged in a while. That’s a problem! I used to blog all the time and my writing skills were great (or at least I thought so). Anyway, a lot has happened since last summer and fall and life has changed a ton. Here’s the briefest of brief overviews of my life in a nutshell.

My Mom & Vacation

Fall going into winter was tough. Work wise, things seemed to be moving slow because the weather dictates energy level in the Northeast. It’s a busy time of year before Thanksgiving and Winter Break. I then learned that my mom wasn’t doing well, so I actually few to Thailand. I met with my sister and family and visited my Mom everyday over the course of almost two weeks, but my mom was unconscious the entire time. Doctors explained she had a number of ailments–heart problems, kidney problems, infections–on top of her diabetes. So, everything she didn’t do to take care of herself was catching up quickly. We knew that it was a matter of time until she would pass, but we could not stay in Thailand. So, my sister and I had to head back to the U.S.

Winter break began and again, I wondered when my mom would pass. I knew my family would keep us updated on her condition. Meanwhile, I knew my life had to move forward. I decided to take my first legitimate vacation to Disney World and Universal Orlando. I knew I needed to get away and just have fun, because if anything, my mom’s ailments told me life is short and that it was always my dream to go to Disney World. This was a time I could actually afford it, so I decided to make the trip with Luis. All in all, it was a fun experience and just a good time to just focus on myself while experiencing what vacation really feels like. I realized that people go on them because it really is relaxing. It’s a privilege, for sure, so I’m not saying everyone should go on vacation, but that if you can, do it. It was my form of self-care among everything happening in my life.

Thankfully, my job is full of wonderful people and people who understand situations come up. When I returned back to Boston, I learned my mom had passed. I quickly had to come up with money to be able to make the trip back to Thailand (going twice in a month is really expensive). So, I eventually came up with the funds and made it back to Thailand. Although the time before felt a little more like vacation, this time, it was for a lot of funeral services and my mom’s cremation ceremonies.

Thai Buddhism consists of a lot of praying, but a lot of celebration, too. Leading up to the cremation, lots of people come out and pray every night with the family. Food is served and services don’t last long, but it brings people together multiple times. Once the cremation happened and we took my mom’s bones and ashes out to sea (in a beautiful spot), things were just a lot happier. Everything is just more beautiful in Thailand and doing something like this in the U.S. wouldn’t have been the same, so I’m thankful my mom passed in Thailand and not in the U.S. I think the entire experience just provided closure and I know my mom is resting. Life was just hard these past couple of years and I know she’s in a better place, wherever that is.

My Job & Weather

Like I said, weather dictates my mood and energy levels. It’s been hard-working through an entire day without being tired or wanting to take a mid-day nap. I hate winter and I can’t wait for actual spring and summer and even fall! Warmth. I need sunlight. I think this year has been such a learning experience and is going a lot quicker than I had ever expected. As I start a day, it’s the end of the day and it’s a new week and new month. I can’t believe it’s already March (as I’m writing this). It’s been great to learn how to do my job and learn to do it better each day. I know I entered not knowing a lot about residential life, so all I can say is that I’ve learned a lot and I’m hoping as I end my first year, I can reflect on how to do the job even better.

When the summer heat comes, I’ll be in training again (maybe this signals the most productivity in terms of learning for me).

Everything Else & Nothing Else

It’s always interesting to go through each new stage of life. People come and go all the time. People I think I’m supposed to be friends forever with one day just stop talking to me or walk away. I can’t control that anymore than anything else in life, but it’s just so interesting. I was asked by a couple of people over the last few months to blog, and this time it was Brett who asked me to write about my life and experiences, and so he gets the credit on this one. Tory gets the credit on the last post (which was months after the last post before it).

I plan to run the Boston Run to Remember Half Marathon again this year over Memorial Day Weekend and I’m hoping to sign up to run the Disney World Marathon in January 2016. I think of all things I have been thinking about, it is how I need to get healthier. I don’t want diabetes, heart problems, kidney problems, or high cholesterol. I don’t want to be over weight and sick all the time. I don’t want to die before the age of 70. So, it’s true when I say my mom taught me a lot about what not to do.

So, I’m taking names of people who totally would make the trip down to Disney World in January to run the marathon with me! Seriously. Do. It.

The Morning I Decided I Need To Skydive

This photo of SkyDive Pepperell is courtesy of TripAdvisor

Last night, I spent the night with one of my greatest friends I’ve met at UC San Diego who moved here to Boston this past Fall. Allison Potter and I were co-coordinators of the Alternative Breaks@UCSD program! Last night, we talked, watched movies and YouTube videos, and looked up Groupons that seemed cool. Within our search for Groupons, I stumbled upon something awesome. So, here goes some reflection that happened in my head over the past 24 hours and about the last 7 days, which have been a series of trials and tribulations.

I sometimes come off as a very busy person who overworks himself. I find happiness by making other people feel happy or by finding ways to make positive change in this world. It’s a lot of selfless giving and nothing in return.

Let’s change that.

There are few times in my life I have felt truly alive. I just reflected on this and thought about the time I finished a half-marathon, the time I played the Iroquois “fish game” with my alternative break service team in the middle of the Smoky Mountains while barefoot in frozen grass, and the time I sat upon Mayan Ruins and hiked 16 miles to caves and waterfalls in the jungles of Belize. Those were some of the times in my life I felt alive and realized my existence in this world and that the world is not just a scary place, but a beautiful place.

A lot of things have happened in the last 7 days. When life happens, I forget to live. When bad things happen to people I love most, I forget to live. When people walk in and out of my life, I forget to live.

I need to live.

I need to be alive. I need to be present with what’s here and see that there is much to live for and many things to experience. I need to remember how alive I am and be reminded of the life I need to live. I only have one shot to make it amazing and to fill it with once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

This morning, we had a retreat for our Graduate Student Government at Northeastern University. We were sitting in the room before the retreat preparing for the day, and I was just thinking about the Groupon I found. The Groupon I found was a discounted price of a Tandem Skydive Jump. I asked my friend Kledio Bacci (another VP within the Grad Student Government) randomly to do this with me, and he amazingly agreed in about 10 seconds. We kept talking about the dangers and the risk involved, but how we both wanted to do this and that this was the moment to commit to it. Within minutes, we both purchased the Groupon and we plan to do this when the season opens back up, hopefully in May! So, this was the morning I decided I needed to skydive and I finally made the commitment to do it. Life is way too short to not do the things you need and want to do.

Right now, life is testing me. It’s definitely showing me that life isn’t permanent. Before #YOLO became a thing, we used to say that you only get one life to live. I really do realize now that life is given to us, but can threatened to be taken away at a moments notice. I know this feeling personally because I have had my left threatened and thought I was going to die. It’s that moment when your life flashes before your eyes. You hear about it, but it’s another thing to actually have it happen to you. And now, I am once again tested because I am in fear that I will actually lose someone I love.

If there’s anything I have learned so far, it is that I need to find ways to enrich my life with awesome experiences before it’s too late. I think I have done a good job at that, but I also think I have stopped myself in recent days from realizing the amazing things I have done and the things that I have yet to experience.

So, I post this here as an open invite for others to join in to cross off one of my most-feared yet most-awesome bucket list items. It’s happening sometime in May after I graduate.

Get this Groupon before it goes away! $159 for a Tandem Skydive Jump (a $235 value)!

Now, cue up “What Doesn’t Kill Us (Makes Us Stronger)” by Kelly Clarkson. You better believe I’m actually going to add a Bucket List to my blog as a new tab!

Reblog: 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

So, I found this post off of Bucket List Publications’s blog and thought it was really good! I think I often find myself doing the things this article says to stop doing. I’ve read different things saying that maybe we should all set affirmative goals and things we should start doing, but really there comes a time when you realize you are doing a lot of things that aren’t productive or positive and need to stop. I think this puts those things into a neat list of 30 things!I am tempted to attempt making progress with some of these things in this list. Some of thees things are very difficult, though. Just look at #1. In the past couple of months, I have eliminated people from my life or have been eliminated from people’s lives. I’m pretty sure I can write an entire blog post about #1. Anyway, read the post below!

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

Posted on September 3, 2013

I read this post this morning and loved it! I don’t often share the work of others on the blog but this post was definitely ”share-worthy”. Creating a bucket list lifestyle encompasses treating yourself right and learning from your mistakes. This post is a great reflection of those lessons.

Is there one of these that you do often? Are there several? Let’s let the good things catch up. 

Written by marcandangel

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Photo by: Rob Brucker

About Marc and Angel Hack Life
Passionate writers, admirers of the human spirit, and full time students of life, Marc and Angel enjoy sharing inspirational advice and practical tips for life on their popular personal development blog, “Marc and Angel Hack Life.”  Currently the site contains over 600 articles on happiness, productivity, emotional intelligence, relationships, and general self-improvement, and has attracted over 100 million page views and 100 thousand subscribers since its inception in 2006.